10:19 p.m. - 2024-03-07
Joined at the hips lips

I fell asleep in bed last night while sitting up going over schematics for a Trace Elliot GP11. The parts I'd replaced earlier in the day didn't completely sort the crackles I was getting at higher power settings. It did help but it was masking another problem that I didn't solve until today. A faulty pre/post DI switch took a real bit of brain power to diagnose and trace. I didn't really want to strip the whole pre-amp into parts again but I had no choice. There is always a danger that messing around with 1980s technology might cause further issues but so far with the switch replaced from stock I had, all is working very well. I haven't been able to re-create the crackles and the whole thing is performing as expected.

The last day or so has felt just like lockdown again. Morning and afternoon walks around the river and village, very few people around, soup production in full swing and mostly just having the thoughts in my head for company. There are some of us who really need our personal time and space and that includes time away from those we love. I guess I'm one of them. I remember my old mermaid friend Amanda tell me she used to miss when her partner went overseas to work for weeks on end. In actual fact she did enjoy the time on her own. She was able to do things she liked that they didn't do together when he was home. When he was there it was always about him and his needs. It worked for them and they both lived very happily by that arrangement.

I wouldn't have minded if I hadn't had our daily catch up call today, I was just feeling like I didn't need to hear her voice the way I usually do. Being needy and high maintenance are both personal flaws I always struggle with. Today I was happy pottering away with my test meter trying to fix complex electronics, and using the grey matter for that purpose instead of day dreaming about what we are both going to do the next time we get our hands on each other. Love won't pay the bills or fix a Trace Elliot Mk4 GP11. It's getting a balance between all the things that matter that matters. Isn't it always?

The faceless lover dreams have stopped. Last night I dreamed I was on our first date again. I'd just hung the Tree Of Life pendant on her window frame and we were lying fully clothed on her bed. She kissed me just like before, a peck on the lips. Instead of me not kissing her back, I did, and things got a bit steamy after that. I had the overwhelming sense of not being able to breathe as my lips seemed to be stuck to hers and I was thinking that I shouldn't have kissed her after all. I woke up in a start at 6 am with my face buried in my pillow. I couldn't get back to sleep.