4:11 a.m. - 2024-03-09
A little four letter word

Yesterday was very quiet and apart from some chores and fresh soup production, it has been a blissfully quiet and stress free existence. I snoozed on several occasions in the quietness of a weekday morning and afternoon on a sunny spring day and briefly ventured out to walk along the riverside for some exercise. I've been spending a lot of time rehearsing to playlist 004 to prep for this Sunday's gig. I'm feeling nervous for the first time in ages about playing a live show, especially with Lee and Roddy, our new drummer and sax player respectively. I'm confident in their abilities as they are both seasoned players. However first gig with a new band is always a tense affair until the show gets going and I feel the vibe of how it's all going to work out.

At last nights Jam Social with just Jamie and Uncle Ross, I took both the GP7SM and the Mk4 GP11 along to try out in a jam situation and also to test the DI out into Jamie's Tascam 24 for recording. The little green GP7SM won hands down for recording quality. The much older GP11 sounded a bit rough by comparison. I think the DI socket on the GP11 is a little corroded and might need changed out. It's a forty year old bass amp thats had a life. It's only a problem at the moment if I'm working a big stage with a house PA so really it's not a major concern. The GP11 wins hands down for sheer brute force and low end grunt. These old Trace Elliot's were very conservatively rated and it really is unbelievably powerful.

We jammed a few improvised tunes and we were all in the zone last night. It was fun. I was nominated the tea boy in John's absence and I also brought the fresh Empire biscuits. I stayed late after Uncle Ross left and talked about life and stuff with Jamie until we realised it was after 2 AM. I Eventually got home at 3 AM and I'm still up and wide awake at 4:20 AM. I had a little miss-her moment as I drove home through the empty fields on the dark riverside road from where Jamie lives to where I live on the other side of the river. I stopped for a moment at the side of the road as I was overcome with the thought of her so far away from me, asleep in her bed alone and I wondered whether she ever dreams of me or wishes I was there with her when I'm not.

I might ask her at some point but these are the things we sometimes never ask. Neither of us has said I love you to the other so far, well not out loud or in earshot. It's not something I ever feel shy about saying when I know for sure, and that saying it isn't likely to be met with silence. Certainty does grow quietly so perhaps there is power in not saying it for now at least. Sometimes I have the feeling deep down that she will say so before I do. In the longer term that may swing to me as I get to know her better and if she still hasn't got around to saying that little four letter word to me. It's time to sleep and dream, and this week I do need my dreams to keep me going.