10:08 a.m. - 2024-04-04
Freedom to roam

My longer evening walks have taken me out to old haunts these past few days. I can see the goldfinches are nest building again. I saw four almost fully completed nests in that same hedge row from last year where nine pairs eventually nested. It could be another good year for the goldfinches, and nature seems to be on a positive footing if the goldfinches are anything to go by. Springtime often heralds a return to fertility, the scent of renewal is everywhere in the great outdoors.

Yesterday was a day of talking and listening, although mostly listening to carefully posed questions. I contacted Mike and J separately away from the band group chat to discuss the band’s sudden demise after J’s announcement to bug out immediately.

Mike said he wasn’t surprised at all about J’s move and that it was ironic that he should be the one to do such a thing. Especially after citing certain reasons for doing so and for initially praising both myself and Mike for staying on long enough to cover our pre booked commitments.

Mike was in a reflective mood and said all it really meant was that he could now put his drum kit into storage or maybe decide to even sell it a bit sooner than he had planned. He’s quite attached to his old Ludwig kit though, and said selling it seems too final a move at the moment. He would never be able to afford another of the same quality should he ever want to play again.

He asked me what I would be doing with my bass gear and I too have sentimental attachments but will sell off some of it. I told him I’m going to keep playing but stopped short of revealing that I’d been involved in another project. Mike also knows I Jam Social and he wouldn’t be bothered if I did say I was playing away elsewhere.

J seemed slightly annoyed that I was even asking him about his decision to drop out so suddenly. He launched into an almost tirade of reasons why he was doing so. When I think back over the last few years, J caused us more problems with having to cancel shows than anyone in the band, often for minor reasons so I was quite surprised by what he said. He is focusing on his solo performance gigs from now on and also said that he probably would never do band stuff again.

I had the distinct feeling he was pointing the finger at Mike and myself for his decision to leave. He could have played out 2024 like us but being J he has to make a little drama out of the whole episode.

Marion was in a positive and bubbly mood during last nights call. I sensed her mood has changed again and that was borne out by certain things she talked about. I won’t ramble on about it too much but she announced some longer term plans she has and I felt a little sadness as she detailed them. It was all about her with no real mention of us. I’m beginning to see a new path ahead and I’m unsure if it’s a path she want's me to walk with her. Only time will tell.

She’s excited about one particular thing, and that is her decision to finally learn to drive. Lilly also wants to learn to drive and they have both applied for provisional licences this week. She is also going to book lessons and has asked me if I could teach her the rudiments of driving to help out initially. I am apparently a very safe driver so she says, and have natural teaching abilities? Well, I will take the compliment for now and check if my insurance will cover two named learners being added to the policy without it costing $$$$

Her dad has also said he would help out with buying her a car and she’s stoked about that fact. “I’ll be able to visit you anytime” she says enthusiastically. The reality of owning and running a car hasn’t obviously clicked yet. The reality of a fully mobile Marion is something I hadn't envisaged. But who am I to burst her bubble?

The romance of the open road is a powerful thing, that ability to go places you’ve never been before, and meet new people and have that freedom to roam. It’s a freedom I’ve lived by for so many years and if I am being honest, I think my travelling days are numbered when it’s possible hers are just about to begin.

She says she’s missed me this week and I’ve to drive down as early as I can to spend the weekend with her. I can do that. Something feels different after our recent tiff. I guess I won’t know for sure whether it’s something to worry about until I see her standing in front of me, and we are face to face again.