12:00 p.m. - 2024-05-16
A Typical Man

I've been bothered these last few days about what The Maid said to me or to be precise snapped at me when she was generalising about typical men and their thought processes. I can't think of a way to put that any other way at present. But it has irked me. What is a typical man to her is the question I am asking myself over and over. I wouldn't say I was particularly typical of most men, and there is still a residue of noregularman from all of those years ago still in me. It's something she has commented on before although she didn't quite use the same wording.

I spent the afternoon yesterday through in Glasgow in the Tradeston/Kinning Park area meeting up with a dude called Duncan. A true example of Scottishness you'd be hard pressed to find anywhere else in this case. Pale skinned, blazing ginger hair, a big ginger beard, and a generous helping of freckles. He had a real thick Glasgow och aye accent and I naturally slipped into the same vernacular, my West Of Scotland home town drawl rising to the surface like a ghost from the past. Och Aye. It was braw communicating with him on that level.

He was a musician but I didn't sense a particular instrument of choice that he favoured. He had guitars, basses, wind instruments, a bodhran, tom toms, a ukulele, and various other percussive pieces strewn around his apartment. I even saw a didgeridoo standing next to the fireplace in his front room. He made tea and served ginger nuts along with it for dunking. I was there to collect some new project work as he was having a clear out and we sat and talked about his music and my music and found a common musical theme in our appreciation of saxophony.

Anyhoo, The Maid called me unexpectedly while I was having tea with Duncan and I had to ask her if I could call her back. She sounded surprised that I was deferring a call from her but she agreed. I would call her back. I finished up at Duncan's place, did a deal with him, and drove along the Paisley Road West to a small strip mall with several coffee shops. I procrastinated for a while by wandering around trying to decide which coffee shop to go to and eventually settled on one.

I didn't call or message The Maid when I got back home on Tuesday and that is the first time that has ever happened. I always let her know I am home safe and to tell her I already miss her. It's one of those little seemingly insignificant habits that develop in a relationship that when it doesn't happen it suddenly becomes noticeable by its absence. I called her and we talked for a while. She wasn't at work and her daughter hasn't been back at school since Monday. There was more drama came out of the woodwork since then and I'm not going to speak of it here. All I will say is that everything is ok and everyone is ok now.

She had thought about what she said to me the other day and feels really bad about it. She apologised again and I said to her not to worry about it. It's in the past now, lets move on. She also told me she feels that she has been neglecting her daughter to an extent. She has spent more time with me in recent months than with her daughter, and perhaps giving Lilly so much freedom to be a young adult was premature. She asked me how I coped with letting my daughter spread her wings in her late teens and I could only tell her it was a bumpy road and there were a few big potholes along the way. She laughed. I'm not going to get much advice out of you am I? she said. All daughters are different I say, and you know yours best. I was in effect avoiding answering her question.

There was a pause in the conversation, and I then said to her that maybe she should spend some time with Lilly, I mean quality time. Go out for the day, maybe down to Gala or up to Edinburgh for a girlie adventure together. See a movie, go shoe shopping, maybe get new summer outfits, dine out somewhere nice. Get their nails did together. Maybe do a bit more of that now because Lilly will be off to university at the end of the summer and you will miss spending time with her then more than you do now. I suggest that maybe they should do something this coming weekend, especially after all thats just happened. I say I have to go visit family about some important stuff and this weekend would be the ideal time for me to do so. The line went quiet again and then she laughs nervously and says "If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were trying to avoid having to take me out on another driving lesson". That's my girl. Sharp as a tack and knows me better than I know myself.

So, I won't be seeing her this weekend, a girlie mother-daughter adventure is brewing. I don't really have any family business that is so important it needs to be done this weekend. And I find myself for the first time ever being relieved about not having to travel down to Peebles this weekend and that's nothing to do with the driving lesson. Maybe I am just a typical man if avoidance is a typical male trait? One thing is for sure, I'm not thinking with the part of my anatomy she was suggesting typical men do. It's my heart I am thinking with, and right now it hurts and something doesn't feel right. Something just doesn't feel right at all.