4:28 a.m. - 2009-08-24
Home for Christmas

My world is changing in a big way and though at first it took me a few days to come to terms with this new direction, I am now looking forward to the change. My colleague and good friend Kirsten who only joined the shift team a year ago is off work with the stress of the change. There is a whole world happening out there when the majority of people are doing their regular 9-5 day jobs. I shall miss being part of that other world, it's cool in so many ways.

Shift working hasn't exactly been conducive to maintaining the significant relationships I’ve had during these times, and for the most part it has been a major issue for the most important people in my life. I was hoping to get another year out of shift-working, and then make this move by choice, but it has now been made for me.

Tonight is my last ever night shift. Life has ended up as I thought it would do these last five years with maybe just one regret I have remaining from those times. I've made a few enemies on the journey and lost someone dear to me. I've also made some new friends, and re-acquainted myself with some very old friends just recently. People come and go in life, even those we love dearly.

I'm looking forward to being Home for Christmas for the first time in ten years and the new year might even present new options and opportunities. I'm a little more confident after loosing my way this past year. The only thing that keeps cropping up in my thoughts is would the major relationships in my life over these past years have turned out any different if I had given up shift working and become a regularman by choice, instead of waiting for the universe to make that choice for me?

I suppose I’ll never know and I have the feeling that in maybe five or ten, or fifteen years I may look back at this time in reflection and realise that there were things I could have done better and perhaps people I could have stayed friends with if I’d been less of a drama queen and less selfish where my own needs were concerned.