7:07 a.m. - 2013-01-02
A brave new year

Yesterday was the first day of 2013 and mostly lost to a gigantic hangover from drinking far too much during new year celebrations. I woke up in someone else’s home, in a bed with two women sleeping next to me in various states of undress. I gently moved myself from a tangle of warm limbs just to escape the bed without waking the two sleeping beauties.

I was naked as the day I was born and couldn’t remember anything of the night before. I’m dreading memory recall if it happens. I think it may be better if I don’t remember. I got dressed and staggered through empty, cold, new year's day streets to my own home. I went to bed after forcing myself to eat something at mealtime and I feel more rested this morning.

It's so quiet except for the combi whirring away in the kitchen as the thermostat kicks in, and this espresso strength coffee has got me surfing online from seven am. I thought the other day that I would try and do a daily diary for 2013, so here I am again, back to Diaryland and wincing at the nonsense I've written from previous years. I’ve just deleted entries I never had any intention of sharing but I suddenly felt a sense of loss as I clicked the DEL key to erase them.

It was that same feeling you have when your hard drive corrupts and years of your history is suddenly gone. The same feeling when it dawns on you that she is gone for good. It’s time to be brave, and time to move on. Again.